A hepatical sabbatical

UPDATE: By sheer coincidence (I could claim prescience), the BBC is reporting that Brits are drinking more than ever on holiday. “Holidaymakers are turning to drink on their breaks with the average adult consuming eight alcoholic drinks a day, a survey suggests, which amounts to around 200 units on a single trip.” (BBC)

Intoxicants have been with humanity for millennia, indeed, there are examples of other species that, ahem, self medicate, with various herbs and fruit that has gone by its sell-by date and so accrued alcoholic content. It is, therefore, probably no surprise that the vast majority of us enjoy the occasional tipple and others various other chemical weapons of mind destruction.

People who know me, know that I am somewhere on the spectrum between connoisseur and just plain sloshed in the Fawlty Towers sense of that phrase. Some would say further to one end than the other. Whatever my reputation it occurred to me after our family summer break that it was probably time for a hepatic holiday.

It makes sense to abstain for a reasonable period every once in a while. Abstinence is the only genuine and efficacious way to detox and eradicate substances and their metabolites despite the hype surrounding herbal remedies and detox diets. Just remember that a hepatic holiday will require you to keep your fluid levels up using H2O rather than any C2H5OH. Avoiding the ingestion or inhalation of those chemicals your detoxing from gives your liver the break it needs to clear out the metabolic residues.

My personal hepatic holiday has led to improved “energy” levels, a general clear headedness, and, for once, an enthusiasm for getting up early to catch a train to #solo09 on Saturday, 22nd August. I even managed to survive the post-conference pub trip on nothing but J2O, which brought a few raised eyebrows from fellow delegates who couldn’t figure out how I had shifted off to the ultra-dry end of that Fawlty spectrum I mentioned earlier.

Of course, all good things must come to an end, and holidays are no exception. Some time soon I’ll probably head home figuratively speaking. There is after all only so many raised eyebrows and J2O one can endure. Moreover, there’s a sealed vessel containing a clear, but red-coloured 14% solution of C2H5OH nestling in our wine rack that has been gagging for a good corkscrewing these last few days.

This lighthearted post is in no way meant to represent medical advice, nor advocacy of substance abuse, nor should it be assumed that the author is anything bur a moral and upstanding citizen who indulges only legal intoxicants at moderate levels, except when on hepatic holiday, of course.

By the way, my wife, who has been dragged along for the ride, doesn’t see this period of abstinence as a holiday, but more as a “wet weekend camping”…

14 thoughts on “A hepatical sabbatical”

  1. @Mina Heheh, I think the Mailograph and the Grauniad (Daily Telegraph and Guardian to non-Brits, by the way) got the story very wrong. But like you say, there’s always Cointreau. Two weeks for me without a deliberate toxic infusion, by the way, better get packed for my return trip from my hepatic holiday…

  2. Sweet. So if I suffer from depression, I have some nice robust research to support a prescription to fill up my empty liquor cabinet.

    Ssssh but I’ll probably just use the liquors in my baking. Sicilian Creams just wouldn’t be the same without a dash of Cointreau.

  3. Yet more alcoholic news on Friday, with both the Grauniad and the Mailograph erporting on research that supposedly shows teetotallers suffer from depression more commonly than those who drink alcohol. NHS Choices as usual has the real skinny on this piece of “research”:

  4. @Mina I’m not sure yet how I feel about it, but well done you! Of course, there is some research that claims a glass or two of red wine, or a beer here and there is actually better for you than total abstinence, but I’m never sure whether that kind of research is ultimately funded by wine makers etc. It’s not like we have to get our antioxidants from red wine, there are plenty of other foods that contain polyphenols…

  5. I’ve been a non-drinker for the last ten years. Whilst my friends even to this day continue to attempt a conversion of my boringly healthy ways, I remind them of all the daft things I do when sober. The horror of me having a single drink (that’s all it would take to have me waaaasted), would reverberate for…far too long.

    Meanwhile, at the clubs I can at least rely on everyone else being too drunk to notice what a horrible dancer I am. :p

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